I am not a fetish. Race is not a sexual fetish. Friday Jul 7 @ 12:37am
I’m in a bit of a funk. Monday Jul 7 @ 11:58pm
I’m sorry.

For abandoning my project. I lost myself for a while. But I think I’m back.

Sunday Jul 7 @ 10:28pm
1:01 am

I’m tired.

Not physically tired, but emotionally tired. I decided to check the misogynoir tag on tumblr. Not a bad idea, but I was already feeling like I lacked confidence, and with the misogynoir… I’m just.

Done?

I’m not too sure.

I hate people because as a population, we are stupid.

Honestly, hot is hot no matter race. Attractiveness literally does not judge. Beauty is beauty. It is the eye of the beholder who judges.

But it sucks. Because I believe I’m pretty, but whenever a guy looks disgusted at me, it feels like a punch to the stomach because:

Am I not pretty?
Is it because I’m black?
Am I too big?

Most of the time, I flip my hair, shake my thing, and make him wish he took back his look.

But sometimes… When it is somebody I want, somebody I like… It hurts and I lose myself.

Sometimes. I hate myself for thinking this way. But most of the time, I hate everybody else for making me and making others think that way too.

Saturday Jul 7 @ 01:08am
It’s funny isn’t it, the things we haven’t thought about still have the ability to make us cry. Friday Jul 7 @ 09:38pm
Day 15: His smile & His Eyes

I wish I could post a picture of them, but if he ever come across this blog, he might think I’m weirder than I actually am.

There’s something about them that make me smile, too.

His eyes show innocence, his smile conveys genuineness, but his voice holds wisdom and knowledge past his years. 

He’s either hiding a deep secret that will make me hunger for him, or he is as sweet and innocence as he seems.

I want to know more; I’m dying to know more.

Friday Jul 7 @ 09:33pm
It’s stupid

Because part of me knows that I am pretty without makeup, but then there’s a tiny part of me that likes to bring me down.

"You’re not pretty enough," she keeps on telling me.

And I put on the makeup.

"There you go," she winks.

And it is killing me. Because I forgot what it feels like to be confident in my own skin. Now my “skin” that I feel comfy in, is one with makeup.

Friday Jul 7 @ 07:41am
I don’t even remember the days I used to be truly self-confident. Thursday Jul 7 @ 10:46pm
July 10

Today was so…

:-/

Thursday Jul 7 @ 10:19pm
Day 14: bc I wasn’t happy today but I liked this picture and I wanted to continually do 365 days

Day 14: bc I wasn’t happy today but I liked this picture and I wanted to continually do 365 days

Thursday Jul 7 @ 10:16pm
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